Our guest today on the Everyday Faith Podcast is John Velsor. He is a father, husband, pastor, and leadership coach helping people in all spheres of influence to reach their full potential and live a cruciform life. If you’ve ever experienced betrayal or betrayal trauma, John's story is going to minister to you. We’ll cover how to live out your faith in suffering, how to heal from betrayal, and unpack practical steps to live like Jesus – even when it’s difficult.
Meeting the God Who Forgives
A Drug Deal Turned Salvation Story
John grew up in a Christian home in North Carolina, in what he calls the “belt-buckle” of the Bible belt. Before he was born, his parents had gone from a life of addiction to finding supernatural healing and freedom through Jesus. However, at age 14, John found that he was drawn to drugs, loved alcohol, and was running away from the Church at full speed. By age 23, John was in a full-blown addiction, became a drug-dealer in his area, and couldn’t live without substances. John even preferred church parking lots to sell drugs, because if he got caught, he would just ask for forgiveness!
But as God often does, everything changed in a moment. On April 18, 1999, John was waiting in a church parking lot, where he usually sold drugs. To his surprise, his drug deal was delayed. Given that the drug deal fell through, John walked into the church, high as could be, and watched the Church service that was happening.
For the first time in a long time, John felt the presence of Jesus. He felt the Lord so strongly in his heart that John started praying and talking to the Lord.
During this conversation, the Lord started talking to John about surrender. What did the Lord ask for? The drugs in John’s pocket.
So, John took the marijuana and the cocaine from his pocket and dropped them on the floor of the church. That day, John said, “Yes!” to following Jesus, received spontaneous freedom from all of his addictions, and never turned back to his former way of life.
Have you accepted Jesus into your heart yet? If not, today is your day! Head to our page on salvation and learn how to receive Jesus as Lord today: This is For You!
Living Out Your Faith, Even in Suffering
“Growth always requires us to do hard things.” - John Velsor
Even though John stopped drinking and using drugs that night, there were other things in John’s story that God had to redeem. From a past of anger, violence, and a need to control things, God began restoring and bringing healing to these painful parts of John’s heart. Throughout the years, John was inspired to live by the principle of the cruciform life. A cruciform life is where your life is shaped by the cross, not just saved by the cross.
For example, Jesus’ hands were up in surrender to the Lord when He died on the cross. Jesus’ arms were also open to the world on the cross, which shows us a posture of sacrifice and humility. The cruciform life is a reminder of what Jesus did on the cross, and it teaches us to also live like Him during His 33 years on earth.
“Everyone wants the power of the resurrection in their life, but nobody wants the crucifixion. We want the miracle, but the main ingredient for the miracle is a problem.” - John Velsor
Even though Jesus walked through suffering, betrayal, slander, and accusation, Jesus chose to be obedient to God in everything. Learning how to grow in obedience to God in the little things and the big things has the power to change the world.
Walking Through Betrayal
One of the ways that John has grown in obedience to God and been shaped by the cruciform life was by choosing to follow Jesus through an intense season of betrayal, anxiety, and confusion.
A few years back, John experienced his first panic attack on the floor of a hotel room. He had no idea what was going on, but he was walking through a situation of betrayal that was incredibly heavy and overwhelming. He called a friend from church to help him. This man of God stepped away from coaching a soccer game to answer John’s call and talk him through what he was experiencing. Through wisdom and much prayer, John went from a place of deep anxiety to deep peace during that phone call.
During this journey of healing from betrayal, John learned that betrayal is one of the most profound wounds a person can experience. Betrayal is disorienting spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, and it causes breaches of trust in almost every area of life. However, John learned that Jesus knows exactly what it feels like to be betrayed.
Jesus understands our weakness. The Bible even says that He was tempted in every way, yet did not sin (Hebrews 4:15). Even though it felt impossible, John found the strength to forgive his enemy.
“We would pray, we would cry, we would forgive. We would pray, we would cry, we would forgive.”
You can be free from the pain of unforgiveness. Learn how in our blog: How Can I Love My Enemies?
3 Steps to Heal from Betrayal
Throughout the healing process, John learned some key insights on how to heal from betrayal and betrayal trauma. Here are some of the tips that he shared with our audience:
1. Release Control: When you’re walking through betrayal, the thought of releasing control can feel like a joke. How are you supposed to release control when everything feels out of control? Thankfully, through the Holy Spirit, this key for how to overcome betrayal is actually possible.
One way to practice releasing control while healing from betrayal is to try praying the Serenity Prayer:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
Learn more about the power of prayer and how to grow your prayer life this year with our FREE e-book: Let’s Talk About Prayer: Simple Steps to Connect with God
2. Take Communion Daily & Choose to Forgive Your Enemy: When John was healing from betrayal, he and his wife would take communion every morning and enter into a time of prayer together. During this season of healing from betrayal, they made the painful choice to forgive the ones who had betrayed them. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful ways to expedite healing from betrayal. Even though it sounds counterintuitive, the practice of forgiving your enemies is exactly what Jesus taught His disciples in the Bible.
Through Jesus, you can overcome unforgiveness and bitterness. Discover how in our blog: Finding Freedom Through Forgiveness
3. Bless Your Enemies: What’s the natural next step in finding healing from betrayal? Blessing your enemies after you’ve made the choice to forgive them. Blessing your enemy is a key step in experiencing healing from betrayal. Not only does blessing your enemy free you from the pain of unforgiveness, but your prayers of blessing could actually change the course of your enemy's life.
“I knew that when I could pray a blessing over them, I knew there was hope.” - John Velsor
We know the thought of blessing your enemy might sound like taking one step forward and two steps back, but blessing your enemies is a powerful way to move in the opposite spirit and experience healing from betrayal.
Related Post: 5 Truths About Loving Difficult People
Conclusion
As we finished up our interview with John, he wanted those walking through betrayal to remember to stay faithful to the Lord, even when it feels impossible.
“Even when you think you can’t do it, following Jesus and remaining faithful will shape you into the image of Christ. Rather than leaning back, lean in. As you do, that is where the miracle happens!” - John Velsor
John’s story reminds us that no matter how broken, betrayed, or overwhelmed we may feel, Jesus meets us right where we are and invites us into healing, surrender, and a new way of life – the cruciform life. God is faithful to redeem every part of your story, and John’s testimony is proof of that. If you’re walking through a hard season, remember that growth comes through difficult moments and Jesus will be faithful to redeem you. As you choose obedience, forgiveness, and trust, you’ll come to know Christ more deeply and experience the transforming power of His love, even in suffering.
Remember this Bible verse as you heal from betrayal and learn to share the love of Jesus, even when it feels impossible:
I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death - Philippians 3:10
