Father’s Day is supposed to be a day of celebration, but that’s not always how we experience it. For many of us, our relationship with our fathers is complicated, messy, and at times overwhelming. The Bible instructs us to honor our father and mother (Exodus 20:12), but what does honor look like towards an abusive father, a distant father, an estranged father, or an imprisoned father? Given that 25% of children in the United States live without a father in the home, we know that many of you are asking…
“How do I handle Father’s Day if my father was abusive?”
“How do I handle Father’s Day if I’m fatherless and my dad was never in the picture?”
“How am I supposed to celebrate Father’s Day if my dad is a narcissist?"
“How to celebrate Father’s Day if my dad is in prison?”
“How do I handle Father’s Day if I had a bad dad?”
If these questions resonate with you, then you’re in the right place. In this blog, we’ll help you discover how to heal and how to move forward this Father’s Day.
If you or someone you know is currently in an abusive situation, you are not alone and help is available. Please reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Your safety matters — and so do you.
Handling Ambiguous Grief on Father’s Day
If you’re feeling heavy, overwhelmed, sad, lonely, or anxious on Father’s Day, you may be experiencing ambiguous grief. When your relationship with your father is complicated, it means that there’s no real layer of closure to your pain and no turning page into the new season. An easy way to think about ambiguous grief is when you feel a sense of mourning towards someone who is still alive.
While grieving on Father’s Day when your father has passed away is an intense and painful experience, experiencing ambiguous grief on Father’s Day can feel just as painful. We generally tend to think of processing grief only when someone has died, but if you had a bad dad or a broken relationship with your father, ambiguous grief can feel like being wounded over and over.
Ambiguous grief on Father’s Day can look like grieving all of the moments that didn’t happen.
Ambiguous grief on Father’s Day can also look like crying over all of the terrible moments that you remember, too.
If your father isn’t in the picture on Father’s Day, you may feel anger, sadness, and hopelessness all in the same moment. You may even feel distressed at not knowing what to do with your pain. Thankfully, the Bible offers healing, hope, and wisdom for those experiencing ambiguous grief on Father’s Day.
How the Bible Offers Hope on Father’s Day
If you’re wondering how to handle Father’s Day when your dad is absent or how to handle Father’s Day when you had an abusive father, thinking about the Bible as a source of comfort might feel counterintuitive. But our team at Ask About My Faith believes that nothing happens by accident and that your Google search led you to this page for a reason: to experience the hope of the Bible. As you read these Bible verses for ambiguous grief and Bible verses for when you’re grieving on Father’s Day, we believe that the peace of Christ is going to wash over you.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close. - Psalm 27:10
The Bible often gets a bad reputation in our post-modern culture, but it offers ancient wisdom, profound comfort, and hope when you’re angry on Father’s Day or grieving on Father’s Day. This Bible verse for when you’re feeling sad on Father’s Day paints a stunning picture: even if your father or mother were to forsake you or abandon you, God has made a promise to hold you close. Even though God is invisible, He is with you, and He has promised to never leave you or forsake you (Deuteronomy 31:6-8).
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles. - 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
This Bible verse for when Father’s Day is complicated shows us that our Heavenly Father has two important titles: the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort. No other God can compare to Him. As waves of ambiguous grief or sadness come on Father’s Day, you can cry out to God and ask to encounter His love, comfort, and compassion.
Learn how to pray on Father’s Day: Father’s Day Prayers for Every Situation
A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. - Psalm 68:5
When you’re feeling sad on Father’s Day, it’s helpful to know that God is a Father. He is able to fill in the gaps that your earthly father left – sometimes by supernatural means, and other times through natural means by bringing spiritual parents and godly friendships into your life. Our Heavenly Father has vowed to be a father to the fatherless. So, no matter what you’re experiencing this Father’s Day, God is available, 24/7.
Discover more about your Heavenly Father: What Does the Bible Say About God as a Father?
“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” - Isaiah 41:10
If you’re feeling sad on Father’s Day, you can renew your mind with this Biblical truth from Isaiah 41:10. In this Bible verse for when you feel sad, God is speaking directly to His people. God invites each and every one of us to be unafraid and to trust in Him, even as we feel waves of grief during our lives. Instead of settling into the fear of the unknown or wrestling with the fear of what your earthly father thinks of you, you can rest in the promise that your Heavenly Father loves you, sees you, and knows you. (Psalm 139)
Learn more tools on how to overcome fear: How Can I Live Without Fear & Worry?
Receive the friend who never leaves. Learn how to surrender your life to Jesus and experience the hope that He offers in our blog: This is For You!
Conclusion
As you can see, the Bible offers hope for those searching for how to handle Father’s Day when you’re feeling sad. Grieving the father you never had, the relationship that was stolen from you, or the wounds left behind by a narcissistic, absent, or incarcerated father is not something you have to minimize or rush through.
Searching for how to handle Father's Day with an abusive father, how to cope with Father's Day when your dad was never in the picture, or how to get through Father's Day when your relationship with your father is complicated, is not something to be ashamed of – it’s a cry for help and a prayer for peace.
Our team at Ask About My Faith is praying that you meet God in a profound way this Father’s Day. We also wanted to take a moment to encourage you that God has promised to make everything right in due time.
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain - Revelation 21:4
The Bible promises us that we will not grieve forever. There will be a day when Jesus returns to the earth to make every wrong thing right. He will wipe away every tear from your eyes, and crying, mourning, and pain will be no more.
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. - Romans 15:13
